Video Games

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo or a Sega Mega-Drive and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the world did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

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Expectations

We expect anything and everything. We expect the contradictory and impossible. We expect compact cars which are spacious; luxury cars which are economical. We expect to be rich and charitable, powerful and merciful, active and reflective, kind and competitive. We expect to be inspired by mediocre appeals for excellence, to be made literate by illiterate appeals for literacy. We expect to eat and stay thin, to be constantly on the move and ever more neighbourly, to go to the ‘church of our choice’ and yet feel its guiding power over us, to revere God and to be God.

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Literally

I hate when people misuse the word “literally”. Do they literally understand what that means? When they say “it’s literally raining cats and dogs outside” I know they mean it’s raining pretty hard, but literally cats and dogs? That’s got to get the RSPCA fired up… literally.

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YouTube

I hate all of the thirteen year old girls vlogging about their best friend’s ex’s friend’s cousin dating the guy that she has a crush on, or all of the pathetic Star Wars kid wannabes throwing out random rubbish trying to become viral. If you don’t have any talent, don’t waste ten minutes of my life pretending to get hit in the nuts with a golf club.

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Walking

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 degrees and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the pavement.

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Movies

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

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